I hate being jealous

Right now, and pretty much every other time I get jealous, I feel weak. I feel vulnerable and fragile. Like anything in the world could upset me, it wouldn’t even matter how good or bad it was. If it made me doubt, it would cause me to be upset even more. I start letting everything get to me. Things I’m long over; things that happened in the past. And the further I fall, the more my brain hurts me. I let myself feel weak. Because I am. I’m weak when it comes to jealousy. it makes me feel insecure and the more memories that are brought back, the more insecure I feel. I guess, I dont know how else to explain myself. for my stupid little tantrums and getting upset so easily. Jealousy is my weakness. It knows how to get me, and it gets me good. it makes me hate myself. It makes me wish things that I dont even want. It just hurts. It gets me exactly where it wants me. Trust me, if I could change this about me, I would. But i guess i’ll just have to learn to live with it. And if you really love me, you will too.